Recently I’ve been talking about apologising for everything in my post “Sorry, not sorry” (read here if you haven’t seen it yet) and about how using “I’m sorry” almost like a comma makes us look small and lacking in confidence.
If you start expressing yourself with the words “I’m sorry”, people tend not to listen, to not to take your opinion into account. Because YOU seem unsure about what you’re saying, they don’t believe you. It’s clear that the word “sorry”, when overused, can have pretty negative consequences for your relationship with the outside world.
But now, let’s talk about the consequences of the word “sorry” for YOU. For your self-esteem, for your confidence, for your well-being… for your life.
I would say that the inner implications are firstly, closely tied to how the world will see you and how you’ll interact with it, and secondly… they are ten thousand times more important than “how will people see you” (in all truth).
How you see yourself, how you talk to yourself (I mean the inner voice that we all hear all the time, no need to be cuckoo to talk to yourself that way:) ) and how you treat yourself is the most important part of Life Design.
You can only create what you want if you believe in it and you will never believe in your ability to fly if your inner voice is constantly telling you that you don’t have wings.
Let me explain.
Telling yourself you don’t want to be a “burden” to other people, that’s apologising too. It’s an apology that is dressed up in a thought more complicated than “I’m sorry”, but really, when you break this down, worrying about being a burden, e.g. to your family when you’re ill and you need them to take care of you, is like saying “I’m sorry I’m here. I’m sorry I’m taking up this space and your time.”
And what good does it do to be apologising for your existence?
We already know it’s bad for your street cred ;), but it’s also bad at a much deeper, cellular level.
Have you heard of the experiment by Dr. Masaru Emoto? Turns out that human thoughts, words and intentions (like putting a label with a word “love” or “hate”) can alter the molecular structure of water.
The science behind it is still unknown, but it has been proven and extensively photographed that molecules of water that have been blessed, talked to lovingly or even thought of in a positive way turn into beautiful shapes (almost like snow particles), while water which has been labelled (or thought of) in negative way, turns into chaotic, non-structured, weird looking particles. Here’s a youtube video illustrating the concept.
Now, here’s where the connection between this experiment and our apologising for our existence comes in.
We are around 65% water.
What we think, how we address ourselves, how we talk to ourselves, how we “label” ourselves, literally affects our structure.
So any negative thoughts, including all forms of “apologising” for your existence, change your biology. They change you at a cellular level.
How will you fly, if you tell yourself you don’t have wings?
What I’m saying is: You’ve GOT wings, baby. And you can fly.
So express that with your thoughts and the words you tell yourself and treat yourself accordingly!
A little guide to get you going:
Instead of “I don’t want to be a burden” when you need others to care for you, say “They get as much pleasure being able to care for me as I do for them”.
Instead of “I’m not good enough” think “I can do this”.
Instead of “I am not qualified”, turn it into “I can learn and figure this out”.
See what I mean?
Turn those thoughts around.
Because, baby… you’ve got wings.
Speak to you later,
PS: Have you joined the She Makes it Happen! with Lara Young Group on Facebook yet? Scoot on over by clicking here – you’ll enjoy more fabulous tips and resources in the company of some amazing folks just like you